One element to go viral is either it’s funny or it’s controversial. I’ve gathered these quotes that you can use any time. Scroll down to the end for Inspirational new year quotes. Let’s get started.
“Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.”
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Bad decisions make good stories.” – Ellis Vidler
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” -Dalai Lama
“Be so positive that negative people delete you on social media.”
FEAR has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise” The Choice is yours
“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” -Tom Lehrer
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure?”
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
“Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
11. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.”
Lily Tomlin
12. “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.”
Cassandra Duffy
13. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
Cathy Guisewite
14. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.”
Mark Twain
15. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.”
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
16. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
Benjamin Franklin
17. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
Unknown
18. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles Schulz
19. “Think like a proton. Always positive.”
Unknown
20. “Be happy – it drives people crazy.”
Unknown
21. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.”
Robert Brault
22. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.”
Ayn Rand.
23. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”
Robin Williams
24. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms”
Michael Scott
25. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.”
Elvis Presley
26. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”
Will Rogers
27. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.”
Dwight D. Eisenhower
28. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.”
Jason Love
29. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.”
Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach
30. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.”
Franklin P. Jones
31.“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
Ron White
32. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
Thomas Eddison
33. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
Unknown
34. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!”
Audrey Hepburn
35. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”
Robert Bloch
36. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”
Marilyn Monroe
37. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
Robert Frost
38. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
Terry Pratchett
39. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.”
Billie Burke
40. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
Unknown
1. “When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” —Theodore Roosevelt
2. “Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.” —Tina Fey
3. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” —Edward Bergen
4. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” —Drew Carey
5. “There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.” —Henry Kissinger
6. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” —Douglas Adams
7. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” —Phyllis Diller
8. “By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day.” —Robert Frost
9. “The road to success is always under construction.” —Lily Tomlin
10. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” —Robert Orben
11. “Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” —George Carlin
12. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” —Groucho Marx
13. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” —Claude MacDonald
14. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” —Vince Lombardi
15. “Whatever you do, always give 100% — unless you’re donating blood.” —Bill Murray
16. “Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.” —Katharine Whitehorn
17. “Be like a postage stamp; stick to one thing until you get there.” —Josh Billings
18. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, some don’t turn up at all.” —Sam Ewing
19. “Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring.” —Steve Maraboli
20. “The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!” —Marvin Phillips
21. “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment.” —Robert Benchley
22. “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” —Don Herold
23. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” —Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
24. “A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” —Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
25. “Why, sometimes I’ve believed six impossible things before breakfast.” —Alice in Wonderland (1951)
26. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” —Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
27. “Please. Have mercy. I’ve been wearing the same underwear since Tuesday.” —Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)
28. “My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” —Forrest Gump (1994)
29. “Well, nobody’s perfect.” —Some Like It Hot (1959)
30. “I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” —National Lampoon’s Van Wilder (2002)
31. “You want to get out of the hole? First you’re going to have to put down the shovel.” —Incredibles 2 (2018)
32. “Just keep swimming.” —Finding Nemo (2003)
33. “A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have.” —Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
34. “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” —Dodgeball (2004)
35. “Today is a good day to try.” —The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
36. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” —Elbert Hubbard
37. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” —Katharine Hepburn
38. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade, and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” —Ron White
39. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” —Dave Barry
40. “Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise, we’re going down the tube.” —Joan Rivers
41. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.” —Lucille Ball
42. “Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow anyone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then, by all means, follow that path.” —Ellen DeGeneres
43. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” —Reba McEntire
44. “When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” —Sydney J. Harris
45. “I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.” —Stephen Hawking
46. “A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.” —Graham Norton
47. “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” —Mae West
48. “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” —Mark Twain
49. “My favorite thing to do on this planet is to play games. And if you don’t enjoy games, then you’re really missing the point of what this life is.” —RuPaul
50. “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” —Stanley Hudson, The Office
51. “Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews!” —Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants
52. “Your soul is like your appendix—I don’t even use it!” —Michael Kelso, That ’70s Show
53. “What am I scared of? I’m scared of the same thing that you are: everything.” —George Costanza, Seinfeld
54. “I’m a bit of a sucker for second chances. They’re my first favorite kind of chance.” —Jessica Day, New Girl
55. “Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV.” —Morty, Rick and Morty
56. “Why can’t parents just stay parents? You know? Why do they have to become people?” —Rachel Green, Friends
57. “We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.” —Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
58. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I’ll find it along the way.” —Michael Scott, The Office
59. “I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” —Chandler Bing, Friends. Do check out our roundup of hilarious sarcastic quotes.
60. “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” —Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
61. “I don’t make the rules, ma’am. I just think them up and write them down.” —Eric Cartman, South Park
62. “All life ends in death, which we, as a species, are cursed with knowing. Resulting in … something. Again, this is really not my field.” —Ian Duncan, Community
63. “Fate is just what you call it when you don’t know the name of the person screwing you over.” —Lois, Malcolm in the Middle
64. “No thank you, I prefer to get high on life.” —Millie Kentner, Freaks and Geeks
65. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.” —Andy Dwyer, Parks and Recreation
66. “I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.” —George Costanza, Seinfeld
67. “Here’s some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it’s Shark Week.” —Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock
68. “If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.” —Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld
69. “I would do anything for my friends, which I think is how everyone in the world feels. Which is why I finally understand war.” —Jeff Winger, Community
70. “True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.” —Edna Buchanan
71. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” —Oprah Winfrey
72. “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’” —Groucho Marx
73. “There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.” —Sylvia Plath
74. “We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.” —William Somerset Maugham
75. “‘Best friend’ isn’t a person—it’s a tier.” —Mindy Kaling
76. “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” —Robert Brault
77. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one!” —C.S. Lewis
78. “A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” —Arnold H. Glasgow
79. “If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.” —Oprah Winfrey
80. “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” —Linda Grayson
81. “You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.” —Elizabeth Taylor
82. “A true friend is someone that thinks you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” —Bernard Meltzer
83. “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
84. “Friendship is like money—easier made than kept.” —Samuel Butler
85. “It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to the friendship that we are not.” —Mignon McLaughlin
86. “You can always tell a real friend: When you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” —Laurence J. Peter
87. “There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate.” —Barack Obama
88. “Marriage: a friendship recognized by the police.” —Robert Louis Stevenson
89. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner
90. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” —Richard Jeni
91. “When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” —Richard Lewis
92. “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” —Henry Youngman
93. “If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” —Lily Tomlin
94. “Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” —Mae West
95. “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” —Blaise Pascal
96. “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby—awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” —Lemony Snicket
97. “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” —Jules Renard
98. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” —Carroll Bryant
99. “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” —Erich Segal
100. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” —Charles M. Schulz
“Fear of what other people will think is the single most paralyzing dynamic in business and in life. The best moment of my life was the day I realized that I no longer give a damn what anybody thinks. That’s enormously liberating and freeing, and it’s the only way to live your life and do your business” — Cindy Gallop
“The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.” ―Arthur C. Clarke
“Worry is a misuse of imagination.” —Unknown
“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.” ―Maya Angelou
“I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now.” —Edna Mode
“A year from now you will wish you had started today.” —Unknown
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” —Steve Furtick
“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” —Carl Sagan
“I will not lose, for even in defeat, there’s a valuable lesson learned, so it evens up for me.” —Jay-Z
“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.” —Arianna Huffington
“If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.” —Erica Jong
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” — Henry Ford
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” — Confucius
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” — Wayne Dyer
“We must reach out our hand in friendship and dignity both to those who would befriend us and those who would be our enemy.” — Arthur Ashe
“It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.” — Bill Gates